My Thursday List

The Question: Have I Seen the Hand of God Reaching Out to Touch Us Today?

Playgroups were not a high priority when my children were young, but I occasionally gathered around the playground or the playroom with two or three other moms. We shared stories and solutions that helped me put things in perspective.

Still, I ached for conversations beyond a certain level. Unfortunately, the kind of talk that sparks my thought process is hard to have when someone’s child needs a bathroom, a snack, a hug, or a band-aid every fifth sentence.

“Certainly,” I thought, “When my children are in school, I can have those kind of thinking conversations with my friends.”

Instead of waiting until they were all grown up, I started a book group. I invited a mix of ages of women, including some peers and some older ones. The first time I tried it, only the twenty somethings showed up. One older woman said, “When you have young children at home with you, you have time for that kind of stuff. I just work all day, and then I just want to have some quiet time and go to bed.”

I enjoyed the stimulating conversations and sociality of a book group, but what I really needed were some core friendships with women whom I could invite into my verbal thought process and come out richer as a result.

In time, the transition from early motherhood to school-age children happened without me even realizing it. And my collection of trusted women friends grew that same way, one-by-one, out of a variety of places and situations.

Last year, my circumstances changed some of my regular associations. For the first time, I was home alone without children and without as many responsibilities, and I suffered a little self-pity. Now, I thought, I have time for those deep conversations, but I don’t have the opportunities that connect me with friends to have them.

I thought jealously about women who have lunch dates with friends or work mates or shopping trips with sisters. My commiserating turned to considering, and I discovered hope and took the initiative.

I listed all those women friends and family through the years that have strengthened, encouraged and lifted me. Most don’t live near me. Most don’t even know each other. But I know them and they know me.

My calendar may no longer be marked with park days or book group meetings, but my Thursday calendar now has this regular entry: “Call A Friend.”

And most weeks, I take out my list, choose a name, dial the phone and reconnect.

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2 Comments

  1. Sarah
    Sep 18, 2008

    What a great realization! I have always enjoyed bible study groups for rich and deep conversation but nothing beats one-on-one time. I have found that friends that are able to keep up by phone are my best friends because it is not always convenient to get together but a quick phone call keeps us in touch until we can.

  2. Karin
    Sep 18, 2008

    Thankyou so much for the comment. The new name was easier to remember. Also didn’t realize that my last blog name was already taken when I did a Techorati search. So I had to find something else. Also, your post reminded me of my earlier days with my kids going to “park days” as well. You hit the nail on the head. Service is what it’s all about.

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