Peace for My Troubled Mind

The Question: Have I Seen the Hand of God Reaching Out to Touch Us Today?

Almost three months ago my new doctor informed me at a routine check-up that she found something that might really be nothing but that I would need further tests. The tests revealed a small cyst, but as the doctor said, it probably would take care of itself.

At the same time, a tree fell on my husband and he broke some bones. His accident taught me to stop looking for all-the-ways-I’m-going-to-die-from-whatever-it-is-I-possibly-may-have-but probably-don’t.

I relaxed and enjoyed the holidays and forgot about the next test. Until it revealed the the problem still existed. Of all the medical problems one could have, mine is minor and relatively easy to solve.

With that solution in place, I expended my energy on the temporal preparations, showing that I know it is “no big deal.”  But agitation, irritation, fatigue and anxiety with those plans revealed that I was scared of the unknown without even knowing that it was fear that I felt.

I write these feelings, not for concern or sympathy, but to acknowledge a reality of adulthood—even when we’ve matured beyond childhood fears, we still need peace for our “troubled minds.”

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27

Comfort came to me quietly with . . .

An appointment rescheduled for weeks ahead of what I anticipated.

A competent doctor who isn’t going to “wait and see” but who is ready to make decisions with us and act.

Family and friends who really are there to take care of me if I would stop trying to arrange it all beforehand by myself.

Even more importantly, I felt that comfort  when I asked to feel it.

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5 Comments

  1. Sarah
    Jan 15, 2009

    I am grateful for the quiet peace that comes when we are truly listening to God’s Spirit. He knows how to comfort His children.

    Good luck with your situation. I’m sure God will watch over you and your family.

  2. Ryan
    Jan 15, 2009

    Can’t say it much better than my wife; God does know how to comfort His children. On a related note, he knows how to teach people to comfort others, which I think is a gift of the spirit.

  3. Sara
    Jan 15, 2009

    Amy,

    A friend referred me to your blog and I’m very glad she did. I really like the way you write.

    Regarding this post, I’ve had my share of scary medical experiences. The waiting always seemed the hardest for me. I would drift into the “what ifs,” even when I was trying to stay trusting and calm.

    One thing I’ve done is to find something I can repeat to myself when I find myself slipping into fear — an affirmation, a quote, a prayer — whatever works. In my case, I use the serenity prayer a lot because it resonates with me and is easy to remember.

    Good luck with everything.

  4. An Ordinary Mom
    Jan 15, 2009

    Peace is a powerful thing. It is something I constantly yearn for. If I have peace, then I know everything is going to be OK. I often tell my husband there are three things I want out of life – peace, happiness and wisdom.

    I hope everything turns out OK. I will keep you in my prayers.

    I am grateful the Lord has provided you peace. John 14:27 has always been one of my favorite scriptures.

  5. Sarah
    Jan 16, 2009

    Wow. You are in my thoughts and prayers. The Lord knows and will carry you through.

    “Peace I leave with you.” What a great verse to claim.

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