The Days Grow Shorter, The Pattern Is Clearer

The Question: Have I Seen the Hand of God Reaching Out to Touch Us Today?

The sunlight casts long shadows in the afternoon in Minnesota now. In fact, the sun sets less than an hour after my children arrive home from school.

I wonder if I’ve insulated myself against the temptation to snuggle down into comfortable clothes with comfort foods to hibernate. The desire to slow down and hide inside is real, especially when it feels like we’ve had weeks of overcast days.

Today dawned with several blessings, though, to stifle my desire to be depressed. The clear morning may have brought crisp temperatures (11 degrees), but we also cast off our cloud cover and discovered the sun!

The other blessing was hidden in the patterns that have changed in my life. My friend and I talked last night about dynamic characters, as a follow-up to my reading Anna Karenina. She mentioned how much she has changed, and while I’ve noticed, not many people can see it in her.

I mentioned how we all change—we’re all dynamic characters, but we get to know a person and then we always see him or her that way and treat him or her as static. Do we expect that others don’t change so we don’t have to change our expectations of who someone has become?

Honestly, I worry a lot about what others think of me. I want to fulfill expectations.

Lately, however, my internal pattern has changed. I know it is the right one right now for me and my family. Some tell me they are surprised that I am doing such and such or not doing such and such. I think they want the old me. Sometimes I even want to be that other way, too.

Today after a talk with my dearest companion and some careful pondering, I’m reminded that Lord and I are the one who created my new pattern, not those who only see it from the outside.

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1 Comment

  1. An Ordinary Mom
    Dec 6, 2008

    “Honestly, I worry a lot about what others think of me. I want to fulfill expectations.” I think we all worry about this, even if we try not to. But we all have got to learn to worry more what the Savior thinks of us.

    “Lately, however, my internal pattern has changed.” I feel my internal pattern changing, too, and I am trying to see where it needs to settle. If you care to share, I would enjoy hearing about what changes you have made!

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